They treat plans made with you as placeholders. If a better social option, a romantic interest, or a more entertaining event comes along, they will cancel last-minute without guilt because they simply "can't be bothered" to honor the commitment. 3. Strict Financial or Instrumental Utility
In recent years, social commentators have noted a shift in how people, particularly those over 40, approach friendship. For many, the energy to maintain large social circles has dissipated. As one writer for Women Blazing Trails notes, "when you are younger, friendships are easy... By the time you hit 60, though, life looks different and making new friends takes effort that many of us simply don’t have". This sentiment is echoed across online forums and personal blogs, where individuals express a distinct "can't be bothered" attitude toward social climbing, drama, and one-sided relationships. For many, "peace is more important than popularity," leading to a more choosy and often smaller circle of friends. Cant Be Bothered A Free Use Friendship -2024- B...
The advice given in the thread is illuminating. Another user responds, "I don't think I'm punishing her or being rude, I just have better thing to do with my time than invest in a friendship that's hurtful and rude". This highlights a key component of the modern "can't be bothered" friendship: the prioritization of personal peace over social obligation. It's a form of strategic emotional laziness that protects the individual from toxic dynamics. They treat plans made with you as placeholders
So, why do people engage in "can't be bothered" friendships? There are several psychological factors at play: Strict Financial or Instrumental Utility In recent years,